Struggle and Someone I Miss

For those who don't know, well, you might surprised that amid all the fun and joy I've been experiencing with my time in Spain...

I'm struggling with school here.

Yes, it's real. And no, it's not the kind where it's a panic if I'm getting Bs. Rather, it's a real struggle. I've never been so concerned about school before, but I'm really scared of failing my year.

I go to classes, but I barely understand because of the language barrier. Though the professors are nice, I still feel that they are a bit unapproachable. Sometimes I go to their office with questions, but I feel that I'm not getting any help. And exams are coming up next month.

A lot of exchange students have told me that the courses and profs are easy on exchange students because they would just let the exchange students pass since it would be considered as wasting time to study abroad and fail and then study the entire year again for the same content.

But who can be sure? I mean, my last paper for this class was 40%. I've never ever had such a low grade on a paper, not even Chinese, English, or Spanish. And that's what stressing me out. I'm handing another paper for the same class in two days. I've been to the prof's office for clarification on the assignment and I've submitted my paper to 7 people to edit. Yet... I still feel that it's insufficient.

I know staying positive is very important. I've done that. But still, it's unknown in regards to my grade. I mean, I think I understand what the assignment is asking, but... when I write it and it gets graded, it's exactly the opposite. So frustrating.

Maybe this time it'll be better, yet there's still this part in my mind that it can be worse, as the paper is a lot longer and harder.

I feel that all the efforts that I'm putting aren't appreciated. I feel that the local students are constantly judging me, expecting me to fail. I really don't care what they think. I know I am better than they are since a lot of them have never seen the world. But it's hard when you're in an environment where people aren't recognizing, acknowledging, or appreciating the qualities and efforts you have.

Yes, maybe in a Spanish academic environment I may not be the brightest due to my limited knowledge of the language, but that doesn't mean that it represents all aspects of me.

I know that there are so many people supportive of me for who I am. And just when I'm thinking about it, I remember a teacher whom I know will greatly appreciative and supportive of who I am.

Mrs. Watson.

She was my 7th grade teacher. I'm not saying that other teachers I've kept in contact aren't supportive of me. But one thing about Mrs. Watson stood out.

She saw me struggled with school. I think she's the only teacher who saw me struggle and doesn't now much about the things I've achieved. I didn't know how to study. I didn't know English language. I was probably the one who struggled the most in her class. Yet, she would always call me over to ask me how I was, and she had expectations for me. Whenever I did well in some subjects, let it be geography, social sciences, or literature, she would always call me over congratulating and encouraging me and saying how happy she was to see me succeed and improve. That was somewhat a stimulant for me to continue to work hard, because she saw the effort.

Just when I started to get back on track with my studies in high school, she left Morrison. I never kept in contact with her. And she never saw the achievements I've made up to now. I think if I were to see her again, and tell her everything, especially my time here in Spain and MUN conferences, she'll be really proud. Surprised that someone who struggled so much could achieve so much in a short time. I have a feeling that she is still hopeful of what I can achieve and wants to know what I've achieved.

I have so much to tell her as we've lost contact and so there is a lot that she doesn't know. Yet it is still not the time as I still have a lot to achieve.

It is because of these people that I continue to strive. I'm thankful for meeting these people in my life.

Now... back to editing the paper. No matter what happens next, I know there are people supporting me for who I am. I'm still going to do my best regardless of the hardship. Even if those people don't appreciate or acknowledge it, it's not a concern as they are not important...

加油!

Sometimes Surprises Come Around

Coming to BIMUN had lots of surprises indeed.

Where should I start? There are way too many.

1. University of Salamanca

I thought I was the only student from a Spanish university, but it was totally false! My roommate at the hostel, Carl, is German student studying in UK but on exchange in Salamanca, Spain. He was with a delegation of 10 people, and you bet I was ecstatic to hear that! Throughout the conference whenever we see each other we would address each other in Spanish. It's kind of weird how I don't use Spanish when I'm not in the environment best for it. We've decided that we'll have to visit each other's cities before heading back to our countries :P

2. Oxford again?

What this means is that I actually met someone who went to Oxford! Judith was the Committee Contact Person (like assistant director) in my committee, and she was a chair for SPECPOL at Oxford last month. When we found out about our attendance at the conference, we were so happy that we just talked and talked about the conference and how much we missed it :P It's always good to know someone who has been to same place as you have.

Another part is meeting Hee Sun, assistant chair from my committee in Oxford. She is a student at University of Bonn, and the first day we met in Oxford we've decided to meet again in Bonn :P We talked a lot about many things, mostly about the goals we have in the future. And Hee Sun has really concrete goals she is determined to achieve! That's what I like about MUN conferences: meeting aspiring and inspiring people who have reasonable dreams and goals that can have an impact on the world and that you can understand, relate, and learn from.

3. TAIWAN (or really, Chinese language :P)

Who would've thought? I actually met people from Taiwan. Fu-nong and Chao-ting were exchange students from 台大 and 淡江大學, respectively. Particularly, Chao-ting had studied in Taichung (東海大學), where I grew up, and we were waaaaaaaaay to happy to see each other. We discussed how much we lovvvvvvvvvvved Taichung. In addition, I also met Hannah who is also an exchange student, but from UW Madison. She's studied Chinese in Taiwan for a year, and it was amazing just to listen and know how much knowledge of the language she'd acquired in a year! Moreover, she spoke very very very good German considering she's only been in Germany for a short time! Wow, so inspiring. I wish I could be like her :P She was screaming and hugging me like crazy when Chao-ting introduced me as the other Taiwanese, LOL.

I also met quite a few Chinese too! Songqiao is from 青島 but goes to Mount Holyoke and currently is an exchange student at Bonn. And she was in my committee too! And there was also Wensi, from 北京大學, who is an exchange student at Salamanca :P And lastly there was En-yi from Singapore, but goes to school in Japan, and is also an exchange student in Bonn

Talk about being international!

But technically Songqiao, Chao-ting and I hung out the most together :P Monday we spontaneously went to Cologne for a short trip. With their student card they were able to bring another person on the train for free :) We saw the major sites which were the Cologne Cathedral and the Christmas market :P

I decided to buy postcards, but it was pretty expensive. And just when we turned the corner, I saw another store selling the SAME postcards but SO MUCH CHEAPER. You bet I was furious!!!!!!!! Really, I wasn't :P

But Songqiao and Chao-ting were comforting me saying like:

"啊你那個比較漂亮"

"那個那個色調不一樣"

"那些有點髒..."

"啊它那個有摺痕......"

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. 甚麼爛理由啊.....

But towards the end of this conference, I must admit that since leaving Taiwan, it was the most Chinese I had spoken. And I was happy :)

4. Canada

Well, I was the only Canadian there, LOL. Yea, what a surprise eh?

However, I met Annika and Mia who had been exchange students in Canada when they were in high school! They were in Vancouver for a year, and they loved it! Of course they would. I mean, come on, it's CANADA. It was definitely nice to meet someone who has been in an environment as you have :P And Annika represented Canada in her committee. She actually asked me for clarification on Canadian foreign policy prior to the committee sessions :P

Getting the Christmas Feeling

One thing that is different between Spain and Germany is, no doubt, the COLD.

I personally don't like snow and the cold too much, but being in a sunny environment while it should be really cold is some what weird for me. And so I enjoyed the cold very much in Germany. It's not as cold as Canada, which I guess is a good thing, but nevertheless it was pleasant to be in a different environment.

Another thing that I enjoyed Germany was the Christmas market, where traditional beverages, food, and crafts assembled. It was so lively and decorated every night, and along with the cold it definitely made it feel like Christmas!

I tried almost every traditional German cuisine you could think of. Bratwurst, gluhwein, backfisch, reikebuchen (however you spell them).

The Christmas market with all its characteristics really reminded me of the night market in Taiwan. The food, the vibe, the people. Just not the cold.

Though it may be chaotic as many times I'd almost spilled my food, it was relaxing and enjoyable. I guess people were there to enjoy, and I felt it.

I bought some small Christmas crafts for my family, and postcards too for the ones I care :P

The Unheard Symphonies of Beethoven

This past week I was in Bonn, Germany for another MUN conference. Bonn is the former capital of West Germany, and the birthplace of Beethoven.

BIMUN was a lot smaller than the previous conferences I've attended. Well, frankly it probably was the smallest conference I've attended. Like 200 people in total? Still a lot smaller than my committee at WorldMUN.

But the funny thing was that I heard people saying this was the biggest conference they've attended and they're super excited.

Wow. Seriously. You've got a lot to attend.

The conference overall had more students coming from Central, Eastern, and Southern Europe

The conference invited so many people and figures discussing about climate change. In my committee a director of the German Union (If I can remember) lectured on green technology.

In my committee, International Labour Conference, we covered green technology and gender equality, but personally I liked green technology so much more!

We also visited the Germany Museum of History (whichever name it is...), and it talked about Germany from the end of World War II to the reunification. It was really impressive as it detailedly showed clips, files, and items depicting life in West and East Germany. I felt the most powerful part of the museum was about the fall of the Berlin Wall, where you see people from East Berlin and Germany crossing into West Germany for the first time in tears and with their luggages, hopeful of a new life.

I'll go more into details about the conference in different posts later on. As for now.... SLEEP.

Church Bells

I feel very fortunate to live in an area where there are 6 cathedrals in a circumference of 100 meters. Especially where the main cathedral of the city is located.

Every night, right at 7:15 pm, I hear bells. Lots of bells. Of different cathedrals. Of different tones.

It's very refreshing, calming, soothing, and motivating. The tones remind me of war movies, like in a scene, most likely ending scene, when church bells chime to signify the end of war and the start of peace.

Every time they sing, I always stop and listen. Tentatively. Enjoying and reflecting my time in Spain. Forgetting all the current troubles, stress, and worries I have.

And most of all, being content and thankful of where I am in life.

And it starts again at 8:15.

Every night.

I am fortunate.

It’s Good to Be Back in the Comfort Zone!

This past weekend was definitely a lot of fun and very fruitful! OxIMUN and England were beyond my expectations in many ways from the beginning to the end.

So… here it goes

I woke up at 6:00 am on Thursday, October 29, to do final packing. Before leaving I left a note to Francesco, because he was moving back to Sicily this weekend while I was gone. Just when I was leaving, my new roommate Iguer was going to work too! So we left the house together, but eventually went our separate ways :P

I got to the airport at around 8:30, with about 2 hours to spare. I waited for Ryanair counter to call for my flight in order to check in. Just when it said “London” I went to the counter, but when I got there, the representative told me that it was not my flight, but rather a flight an hour earlier, so I had to wait for the counter next to it to open in order to check in. And it was about another 45 minutes… I personally find that very weird because in Taiwan and Canada, you could check in early than the counter indicates.

Anyway…………..

After dropping my bags off, I had to go to another Ryanair counter to check my passport and visa. While I was in line, I saw a lot of EU passport holders paying a fee. Like, OMG, WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON??? BRIBERY? OR THOSE MYSTERIOUS FEE??? Stay calm, stay calm, I told myself, remember you are a citizen of a former British colony; everything will be fine. And things were fine. The representative kind of asked me where and how I got in to Valencia, and why I was going to London, and then she validated my ticket.

I waited for the flight for a while, and we boarded, we had to WALK for like 150 meters to board the plane. Ryanair is really interesting. There are no assigned seats; just grab whichever you’d like. And the interior is very simple, yet a lot of people choose it because of its prices

So yea, moving along…

I got to London Stansted Airport around 12:30 pm, went to the ticket station to purchase a ticket to Oxford, and then called my mom to update her that I’m safe. Later I got on to the bus, and the road to Oxford was beautiful yet LONGGGGGGGGG. The English country side is absolutely gorgeous! Very relaxing. However, the route was filled with lots of small narrow country roads that I thought we were lost! And I noticed that I was experiencing jetlag/culture shock because the set at 5:00 pm, whereas I have been used to the sun setting at 7:30 in Spain and getting really dark at 8:30, which is time for dinner. I really felt like sleeping and was feeling hungry… And plus, a lot of towns we passed by were dark, as if it were early morning in Spain.

But nevertheless, I got to Oxford around 6:00 pm. Walked to the hostel and immediately unpacked and took a shower. Just as I came out of the shower, 2 Dutch guys, Bobby and Geert-Jan, had moved in. Both of them had attended WorldMUN in The Hague as assistant directors. It was really nice to see people that I have in common! Later 3 other guys moved in; they were from England, but one of them (Eduardo) actually had lived in Canada for a while! OMG A FELLOW CANADIAN!!! :D He had lived in Toronto too, and still visits it occasionally.

I was really tired so I fell asleep while the guys unpacked. The next morning I woke up early to have breakfast. Very very delicious breakfast! Lots and lots of variety, LOL! Before registration started, I gave myself a little discovery tour of Oxford. The city is indeed very very beautiful. All the streets are filled with antique buildings like living in the medieval times! And the colleges of the university are absolutely surreal.

When registration came, I got to meet quite a few people, such as the delegation from 人民大學 in Beijing. I also met Astrid again, whom I first met in my committee in WorldMUN. She was in WHO while I was in DISEC, so she introduced me to her 3 other delegates, Anne (Haiti), Quinten (Bangladesh), Christof (China). It was definitely great to meet people before committee sessions started.

I later did the guided tour of Oxford by Oxford students, and it was really informative, although unfortunately we couldn’t enter in to a lot of colleges or buildings. And while on the tour, I met Pedro from Universitat Autonoma de Barcelona! We were pretty much the only students from Spanish universities, and it was kind of funny for me to speak Spanish in an English-speaking country :P

Later came the opening ceremony. It was really good! The conference invited an important speaker on the reform of the UN, such as Security Council membership, peacekeeping structure, etc. And there was a long Q&A after the speech. Afterwards we went to our first committee session. Committees were in different college buildings scattered across Oxford, so if your college was far from the hostel…. Good luck walking. But before that, I spotted the West Point delegation, and I introduced myself to one of them, Woo, who happened to be talking about WorldMUN, and I told him whom I knew in West Point MUN. He was really really friendly and genuine too!

There were about 60 people in the committee session, and I got to know quite a number of people. And of course, there was a West Point delegate, Jake, who, obviously, knew the West Point MUN people I know too! When the debate opened, everyone was almost talking about nuclear weapons and non-proliferation. Like, honestly, can we not??? So boring! When it was my turn, I urged everyone to talk about peacekeeping. But unfortunately I couldn’t convince everyone, and the committee voted for the discussion of nuclear weapons and non proliferation =______=

The remaining of the committee session was long, and the rooms were so horribly ventilated! I frankly felt like suffocating… But anyway we finally ended at 6:30 pm! At 8:00 pm was the Global Village, and it was great to know the students a lot better. Different delegations/schools set up tables with food or items that represent their home country or the country representing. Astrid and her Belgian MUN team did Chinese food, since they were representing China. They bought 麻糬 and 皮蛋, without ever trying it before. No one liked 皮蛋, and I was really disappointed! They bought 愛之味 green tea and prune tea, and OMG it was great to taste food from home! There were Greek students that brought authentic Greek desserts and it was orgasmic! And West Point guys, like OMG, bought burgers from the McDonald’s next door, and had tea bags to represent the Boston Tea Party =_______= Way to be creative….

So that was the first day.

On the second day of committee, I woke up to meet with other delegates (well, really just the Belgians: Anne, Quinten, Christophe) an hour before committee session started to discuss working papers. We had really good ideas, and so it was a good step! Throughout the morning debate, it was INTENSE. So many working papers being introduced and many countries were really right at each other, like Iran and Israel. Almost everyone were leaning on to one resolution written by the Belgians, until Jake mysteriously presented a very detailed and unique working that was so different from what everyone had discussed. West Point people just never fail to impress. But a lot of people just didn’t understand the intent of the working paper, and just kind of attacked it…

But thank goodness we took a lunch break.

When we came back everyone was dead TIREDDDDDDDDDDDD. The debates were slowwwwww and dryyyyyy, like everyone just wanted to take a siesta! I felt everyone pretty much had agreed upon everything in the morning, and there was no point in talking more… just waiting for resolutions.

And sooner or later we called it day, and got ready for committee dinner and Halloween party!

We went to a very nice Italian restaurant, and we got to know each other a lot more in a relaxed setting through lots and lots of random discussions :P I later went back to change for my Halloween costume, which was the jersey of CF Valencia, since their colours were black and orange, and mascot was a bat. When I got to the club, I felt kind of stupid because one thing, I was one of the few that dressed up, and another thing because of the colours I was really visible that people kept looking at me. The club was really (and unsurprisingly) small. I had to squeeze myself through the hallway, and it had bad ventilation so it was ridiculously humid with human heat. BLEHHH.

So I left. Pretty early.

I woke up yet again to meet up with people to finalize a draft resolution. It turned out the two dominant working papers (Belgian’s and Jake’s) emerged to become the one and only resolution in the committee, which I have never ever seen before in my life! But it’s good, cause it made things a lot easier. We discussed, debated, amended, and PASSED it! It’s really the first time a resolution I supported got passed!

But that wasn’t enough, because we still have to present it to the General Assembly, and that’s when it’s really passed or not. I find it interesting how this conference used this method for simulation.

But it was really a hassle and unnecessary.

There were too many people, and people were pretty much repeating the same thing as repeated in our committee. And there were 2 other committees too, so it took a long time…………

But eventually we passed all resolutions and it was closing ceremony!

And it was looooooooooooooooooooooong as there were a lot of thanks to give and awards to give in many committees

When they were announcing the award recipients for DISEC, I was really looking forward to it as I had an idea who would be the recipients. There were two categories: Honourable mention and best delegate.

“The first honourable mention goes to…

Oliver Shen representing Malaysia”

Like… OMG! When I heard it I froze in my seat! It actually took me 10 seconds to realize it, and I had to stand up so everyone could see me. As I stood, some other delegates were cheering for me as I was still in awe and surprise of my prize.

Really, I wouldn’t have ever thought. First time going to England, to Oxford, to my first MUN conference of the academic year, and then winning an award… Unreal. So reassuring. So grateful. So content.

I never aim to be the best in these conferences because I feel that if you do you might miss out some of the fun as some people chose not to go to parties or committee dinners and just write resolutions.

It really made my trip so meaningful, especially in such a great academic location! Before coming to Oxford, I was a bit doubtful and hesitant about coming, such as feeling isolated and alone and unprepared, and in addition, feeling of being behind work after the conference. But now, it doesn’t matter anymore. I met so many great friends, whom I’ll be seeing again in London and WorldMUN, learned so much, grew so much, and plus, won an award!

It’s been pretty much a week, and the feeling of content, satisfaction, joy and peace is still present.

I’m just so happy that I went back to my comfort zone again. It was what I really needed.

And now I’m looking forward to Bonn, Germany!

Knowing People from Similar Culture Is a Major PLUSSS

Thanksgiving dinner (which was like 2 weeks ago) went pretty good I have to say! Although the dessert didn't turn out to be as good as I had wanted...

But moving along......................

Few days after Thanksgiving I was waiting in my linguistics class and I overheard sounds that I recognized... English... AMERICAN ENGLISH!!! Two girls were sitting in front of me, and I asked them WHERE ARE YOU GUYS FROM???? Their names were Tara and Alex from Rutgers in New Jersey and thought I was another exchange student in Europe until I said I was from Canada; then they started to get excited! We talked so much and exchanged info! Apparently there are 4 other students from Rutgers too! Then during break there was a girl sitting next to me and she asked me in the perfect British accent, "Excuse me, did I hear you talking in English?" Uh, hell yes girl! Charlotte is from Leeds in UK and to be really honest the 4 of us were so ecstatic to know each other! Now my classes won't be boring anymore!

Tara later informed me about the workshop on Teaching English as Foreign Language. I signed up for it, and forwarded the info to Kristen and Chris. Kristen later told me she also signed up for it too! So the three of us went to the workshop the following week, and surprisingly we met close to 20 people from Florida State! Like, hello, WHERE DID THESE PEOPLE COME FROM??? I NEVER MET OR HEARD ABOUT THEM BEFORE!!! I talked to a lot of them, and apparently it's a program FSU has that sends students abroad to campuses that FSU has. All their courses are from FSU, but it's just taught here in Spain. So technically they're not exchange students. But there are like total of 40 people in this program? They enjoy it but wish they were able to interact with local students in Valencia. And guess what? They live like a block from my place!!! Absolutely unreal. I felt so much better after meeting these people and knowing that there were more people I can relate to in Spain!

Other than meeting people, school has been all right. I recently turned in a paper for theatre class (totaly don't know what I was writing), and other classes had been a bit slow and dry. Well, except one. My 19th Century Spanish novel class is interesting. We've been talking about Romanticism and the prof (and by the way, I just found out that he is FAMOSOOOOOO in the world of literary academic in Spain!!) mentioned Romantic works around the world. When he talked about North America, he gave examples like Edgar Allen Poe (the utter psychopath), and the entire time he was looking at me, since I was the only North American in the class of 50. Later he asked me in front of class if I had read Moby Dick, cause apparently he enjoyed it a lot. Um.. no. Not interested. He just said what a pity that I haven't read it considering I'm from North America =_____=

Anyway, that was last Friday.

This past weekend Kristen and I did the excursion organized by the university. Tara was supposed to come too but she overslept! I called to persuade her to come because she lived on rez, and plus we wouldn't really be leaving until 9:30 when it said we were leaving at 9:00. But she just didn't want to come :(

We went to Albufera, which is like a lake/swamp around Valencia, mountains, beaches, etc. The prof talked a lot about the geography and environment of the area. He was really really enthusiastic. Good for him. But it was a bit boring for me, LOL. The entire time, Kristen, Niina, Liisa (two Finnish girls I had met earlier during the university dinner) just talked in English and kind of ignored the presentation. We later met 4 really really friendly Italian girls and just chilled the entire time.

We got to the hostel pretty late, but it was in time for dinner! MMMMM. It was delicious! And after dinner there was "multicultural" party, but it was not where close to multicultural at all!! People really just drank and smoked and talked... there was music and dance, but it was... not... inspiring or entertaining...

I decided to go out for a walk in the woods with 4 other friends. We went to this open space where you could see the sky! O...M...G... I saw milky way for the first time in my LIFE!!! I was breathless. My friends just looked at me like I was some alien. And... I SAW 3 SHOOTING STARS!!!!!!!!!! It was so unreal. I just stared at the stars for like an hour! The Big Dipper was bright and I didn't have to lift my head up because it was horizontally right in front of my eyes glowing. Seeing the milky way, the stars, and the shooting stars really really made my excursion trip and my time in Spain more meaningful!

Sunday morning we did the 15 km hike!!!!!!!!!! At first I thought it won't be hard... until the last 6 km which it was UPHILL. But nevertheless the view was really nice! Nothing compared to Rockies or Alpes, but it indeed had its beauty. And there were GAZILLIONS of rosemary! I totally picked some for future cooking! And there was a donkey to accompany us too, LOL.

By the time I was about to die from hiking, it was time for lunch!!! We had 3 amazing paellas: veggie, chicken, chicken and rabbit! Well, since I was in Spain, I had to try rabbit meat! And it was goooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooood! I ate a lot that I could've died happy, LOL!

After that we packed things up and went back to Valencia. Now it's back to school, but only for 3 days, 'cause I'm heading off to Oxford on Thursday!!!! :D